Have you ever worked (in any capacity) with another adult and noticed a complete lack of self-control, emotional regulation, or one that is quick to anger? How about an adult person who lacks empathy, self-awareness or motivation?
I have, to the extent that regardless of their educational background or intellectual strength, their complete lack of emotional ability holds them back.
Success isn’t only your child reaching their end goal. It also involves being emotionally capable of handling life stressors, maintaining emotionally healthy personal relationships, and dealing with major life disappointments without having a mental breakdown.
Adults shouldn’t need safe spaces.
When anyone considers home education they think of the academics. However, we know as homeschooling families that home education is far more than that.
As homeschooling parents we have the sole responsibility of educating the whole child. Therefore we can adequately equip our children by teaching them positive coping mechanisms so that they can have a strong emotional intelligence.
Did you know that certain universities and places of employment are now adding an emotional intelligence test to the application process?
“More students leave college because
of disillusionment, discouragement, or reduced motivation than because of lack of ability or dismissal by school administration”
– Dr. Edward Chip Anderson in Strengthsquest
(holistic homeschooler is a Generation Mindful, Plant Therapy, and Amazon Affiliate an associate program designed to provide a means to keep this afloat at no extra cost to you. For more information read; Disclosure Policy.
Our children need to be taught emotional Intelligence.
Perhaps you grew up hearing, “suck it up” or “tough it out”? To some extent, much of what life throws at us, can be toughened out. However, at some point we have all come up against a life stressor where being tough, wasn’t enough.
Therefore how do we teach Emotional Intelligence?
I suggest starting at the very beginning. It is amazing what infants pick up on their little minds are a sponge. They observe our smiles, the light in our eyes, the glow of a happy face. The nurturing love and affectionate touch of a tender mother.
In fact, the first psychological phase that a person goes through occurs in infancy, trust and mistrust. Can the baby trust that his or her needs will be met? Will someone provide me nourishment when I signal my hungry cues? The framework of emotional Intelligence can begin in infancy.
As your children grow into being a young toddler and tantrums begin to creep in, this is the opportune time to teach how to handle emotions positively.
I ended up using the Time-In Tool kit from Generation Mindful.
The creator of Generation Mindful thoroughly explains, “The first step to emotional regulation is awareness. The playful games that come with the Time-In ToolKit make thinking, talking and learning about emotions fun! With practice, children will quickly begin to recognize the four different mood groups we all feel in the average day.”
A visual chart for your child to chose a positive coping mechanism in leu of a meltdown.
The one visual prompt prior to this one and the one above are what my children choose the most often. In fact, the visual prompt above reminds me of how Charlotte Mason discussed directing negative thinking in children by guiding them towards positive thoughts.
Additionally, I couple the Time-In Tool kit with these two Relaxation Stories. The Story Bubble Riding, takes your child on a bubble riding adventure with the sea child and sea turtle. Your child learns a visual relaxation technique using creative imagery that can lower stress and anxiety levels.
The Angry Octopus is another relaxation story that teaches your child how to positively cope with angry feelings. This is a muscular relaxation story using the relatable angry octopus while the sea child shows him how to calm down and manage his emotions. Both books teach your children emotional regulation using guided imagery which research states is the most effective nonpharmaceutical way to teach positive coping mechanisms.
As Christian’s the creator is our why and he gives us meaning as he tells us in scripture. Therefore, for our children we couple the spiritual needs with our children’s emotional needs. In the morning, I start the day in God’s word, often focusing on different scripture verses we can all hide in our hearts. My oldest knows from scripture that a fool vents his anger but the wise holds it back (proverbs 29:11). However, notice scripture doesn’t say hold it in? Rather it says specifically to hold it back. I explain it exactly this way to both of my children and use the guided imagery of all the resources above on how to do that. Whatever emotional strength you are trying to equip your children with you can also pick a scripture verse to pair it with to explain why.
Do you think children need to be taught emotional intelligence?